This article is for satirical purposes only and not meant to be taken seriously. It’s just a prank, bro.
With the upcoming election this November, there is a flurry of presidential candidates. However, there’s only one that you should vote for, and I can tell you who it is and why.
Donald Trump is going to be the clear winner of the upcoming election. He’s a people person, a kind and forgiving gentleman – and he has great hair. Not only will he make America great again, but he’ll improve it, making it beyond great.
There are several reasons why Trump should become president, or perhaps even supreme commander of the world. They are as follows:
- He’ll build a wall, maybe even several walls, and he’ll make everyone else pay for them.
- His hair will grace our presence every day.
- He’s an experienced man; he’ll know exactly what to do in office.
- He’ll destroy anyone who opposes us as a country, probably using the most deadly force he can.
- Money. (Small loan of $1 million, anyone?)
- He’s 69 years old. That’s pretty funny, right?
- He has his own tower, Trump Tower. He could probably just show ISIS his tower and they’d go running away to hide due to pure fear of Trump.
Who he’s against
His only opponent at the moment is Bernie Sanders, a gross old man who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Who is this guy, anyways?
Of course, Hillary Clinton is in there too, I guess.
But Sanders is his main enemy at the moment, and he plans to mess up the country. Raise taxes by 1 percent? Psh, we already pay enough as is.
And free college? Oh gosh, that’s almost impossible. Where would he even get all that money? I know that raising taxes by 1 percent won’t help. We’re already in debt as it is, anyways.
Thanks for that, Obama.
Trump will improve the country, while all of the others will make it worse. What I’m saying is that Donald Trump is the only real presidential candidate, and you should vote for him this year – no matter what.